I am a mom again! It’s been a tough 2 months since my baby was born in January, which is why I am just now blogging now about our new son who we named Derek Gregory!
My Pregnancy:
It was so difficult. I was nauseous most of the 9 months. I had heartburn the entire time during month #7, and then I was nauseous again. I had some scary bleeding around 10 weeks, and we were afraid that I had miscarried. Most days during the pregnancy, I would be so tired and/or sick that Mark would take care of Alex for the evening while I went to bed. On weekends, I would take multiple naps a day. We had the integrated serum screen test conducted during the first and second trimesters, and we were told the baby had an increased risk of Down’s Syndrome. We were sent to a perinatologist for an advanced ultrasound that would only be 50% accurate in searching for markers of Down’s Syndrome. And finally, because of the increased risk of Down’s, I had to have fetal non-stress testing (NST) in the labor and delivery department after each of my doctor appointments beginning at 35 weeks. During some of those weeks, I was only in the lab for an hour waiting for the baby to move around enough and convince the doctors that he would be able to handle contractions. Other weeks, I was there for 2+ hours waiting for his movement.
Also, I had lost 20 lbs immediately before becoming pregnant. I finally reached my pre-pregnancy weight after having Alex, so I promised myself that I would gain weight slowly, eat healthy, and exercise throughout the pregnancy. I ended up gaining 45 pounds…
My Delivery:
At my 39 week appointment, I hadn’t made any progress in dilation from the previous week, so my doctor asked me if I’d like for her to release the bag of waters from my uterus, and told me it may or may not put me into labor. I fully expected to be in the 50% of women for whom it doesn’t work. Well, it did work. I started having contractions at work around 1:30 pm. They were inconsistent, but were so much more painful. I started timing them and wrote them down around 2:30. By 3:30, I showed my co-worker Amy how I had been tracking them, and she told me that I better leave right away. I left work, called Mark, and went home. We decided that Mark would pick up Alex from daycare, and he called his mom so she could meet us at our house and take Alex with her. By the time Mark got home to pick me up & go to the hospital, I was in hard labor AT HOME! Somewhere in our half-hour car ride and in between contractions, I said to the baby “I can’t wait to meet you.” When we arrived a few blocks from the hospital around 5:00, I felt so much pressure that I thought I was going to have the baby in our car. I somehow managed to walk to the elevator and take it up to the third floor while Mark parked the car. When I arrived, I managed to mutter “Hi, I am in labor” when ringing the maternity floor bell. As I walked down the hallway, I felt my water break. The nurse who helped with my NST earlier that day assisted me to my delivery room, and I ran for the bathroom. I screamed for the entire first hour of being in that room. The contractions were so much more painful than the ones I had with Alex. Most likely because I was just beginning labor with Alex when I arrived at the hospital, and I had already been through that stage by the time I arrived at the hospital to deliver Derek. The nurse finally checked me, and said I was at 5 cm. I couldn’t take the pain and continued to cry, but they were having a lot of trouble finding a vein in my wrist to take blood and send to the lab for mandatory tests that occur before any work can begin. Only 15 minutes later, a new nurse finally found a vein, she checked me again, and I was at 8 cm! I started begging for the epidural, but they weren't sure there was enough time. A nurse called anesthesia and told him to RUN. The contractions were coming fast, and it took everything I had to sit still while they administered the medicine. I remember scribbling my name on all of the waiver paperwork and couldn’t read my signature at all. The anesthesiologist elevated my hip on the right side, which is common practice when they administer an epidural. It relaxed me so much that it took another 3 hours before I was ready to push. Somewhere in that 3-hour time span, I remember saying to Mark that I could feel and move my right leg, but my left leg was completely numb and I couldn’t move it. During the pushing, the nurse had my left leg and my husband had my right leg. With each contraction, I pushed 3 sets of 10 with both legs being pushed toward my abdomen. I pushed for an hour and a half. At some point, they lowered the dose of the epidural, so I could feel more of the contractions and have more productive pushes. The baby was sunny side up (face up), and my doctor had to rotate his body while I was pushing.
When he was born, I waited for his cry for a few minutes and asked Mark if he looked like he may have Down’s Syndrome. Mark shook his head and said “I don’t think so!” The nurses cleaned him off and said he scored either an 8 or 9 on his Apgar, but I cannot remember. They also recommended Kangaroo care since his heart was racing, and they placed his sweet little naked body on my chest. I just held him and stared at how beautiful he was.
About an hour later, the nurse advised me to get up and try to go to the bathroom. She helped me to the side of bed. I put my feet down and fell to the floor. They thought it was residual epidural at that point, so she helped me into the bathroom, but I couldn’t go. Thank goodness the nurse was holding me. Honestly, as frustrating as it was, I was grateful because it really frightened me when I fell. After moving into my post partum room, they helped me again into the bathroom, and I still couldn’t go. I ended up getting a catheter later that evening.
I told myself that when I wake up tomorrow, it will all be better, and I will be able to get out of bed and hold my baby. With no shower after giving birth, I finally tried to get some sleep around 2:30 am, but I tossed and turned all night. My thigh was tingly, and I couldn’t move my leg to turn over without waking up and physically moving it with my hands.
I had no improvement the following morning. Every time I had to get up to pee, two nurses had to come in my room and help me to the bathroom. I could not take a step unassisted without collapsing and without holding on to multiple items for support. The anesthesiologist came to visit and checked on my leg. After a few minutes of observation, he told me it didn’t seem likely that it was a result of the epidural and explained an MRI would likely be ordered by a neurologist who would come and check on me either later that day or sometime the next day. He also mentioned it could be femoral nerve damage, which isn’t common, but he remembered a lady who delivered twins and pushed for 4-5 hours who also had this condition. He also mentioned that her recovery was long.
Sometime after speaking to the anesthesiologist, one of the nurses told me how wonderful Derek was doing and she said “He’s ready to go home. He’s just waiting on you!”
Grandma and Grandpa brought Alex to visit us in the hospital later that evening, and it was such an emotional visit. I remember not wanting him to see me this way. When he arrived, the tears just let loose. He was so curious about Derek and brought him a gift, a little horse crinkle blanket. During that night, it became so clear to me looking into his eyes and realizing what a little boy he is. I tried hard to reflect on how he was as a baby, but I couldn’t remember. It made me sad for a moment about how much he has grown up. I just want to freeze my kids and keep them small and innocent forever. I cannot imagine them growing up...
The neurologist finally came to visit me on Day 2 around 5 pm. I showed him how I could move my left leg backwards and side to side, but I could not extend my left leg straight at all. He conducted a series of tests and ordered an MRI to rule out a blood clot at the epidural injection site. He also prescribed physical therapy and recommended a walker for me to take home. We received the results the next morning that everything was negative from the MRI.
On Day 3, I took an extremely difficult shower in the hospital using my walker and mostly sponge bathing myself. I was really nervous about leaving the hospital. All I could think about was how hard it would be getting into the car, getting up the steps into our house, getting into the shower at home and using the restroom. And then wondering shortly after these immediate challenges: Would I ever run again? I left the hospital with my walker and realized I could not carry Derek; I could not stand at a changing table and tend to him; I could not walk around my house; I could not leave my house…
We picked up Alex from Grandma and Grandpa’s house. Derek bought Alex an Elmo play-doh gift set. We gave it to him – telling him it was from Derek. During the ride home, I turned around and just stared at Alex. He seemed so much different to me. I observed him peaking in Derek’s car seat -- curious who that was next to him.
My Recovery:
I cried a lot the first week at home. I got discouraged easily. Alex would say to me: "You're not sad anymore, Mommy." He brought home a nasty cough virus from daycare. I worried about Derek getting sick. I worried about Alex and how he was physically with the cold and mentally with having a new baby brother around the house. I couldn’t feel my leg, my knee, or my shin. It was hard to shower and took forever. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t walk around without bumping into everything with the walker. I couldn’t carry my baby. It made me nervous to think that this injury might linger and impact my life.
The first night at home was a blur. I sat in the spare bed in our nursery with my newborn because every time I laid him in his crib to sleep, he would wake up and cry. I didn’t want him to wake up Alex and Mark, so I just stared into outerspace for about 4-5 hours. It was the longest night of my life, and I didn’t sleep at all.
It was hard not being able to help more around the house. Mark handled everything and did a great job. He ran errands, he took Alex to daycare a few times, he did the grocery shopping, he handed me multiple things because I was stranded on the couch, he played with Alex, he made dinner, he took the laundry downstairs, he was amazing. I am so thankful he had a week of paternity leave because I wouldn’t have made it without him while I learned how to maneuver around the house and care for Derek in this new state.
About a week after we were home, I was able to take my walker into the kitchen and make tacos for dinner. While I was cooking, I spilled some water on the floor. Not thinking, I threw a towel on the floor and tried to wipe it up with my right foot (in turn placing all my weight on my bad leg). And I fell down in a awkward position on the floor. I was terrified that I broke my leg, but everything was OK. The next day my leg did feel a bit worse from the fall.
I did some Internet searching and found a Facebook group that gave me some hope of recovery. There are about 60 women in the group with varying degrees of this injury, even though it’s quite rare.
Physical Therapy:
I was fortunate enough to have home care services and a kind physical therapist named Lauren. In the beginning, physical therapy was VERY basic. Since my leg wouldn’t respond, it involved exercises in which I would *try* to lift my leg. She gave me 3 exercises at first and told me to do only 5-10 reps at a time. Each day my leg seemed stronger and stronger. Around week 3, my quad began to respond. I was able to move from a walker to a cane after 2 weeks.
Because I was limited in movement and to keep Alex & Mark from waking up in the night since Derek's nursery is close to their bedrooms, his cradle swing and Pack N Play has been set up in the living room with everything I need to take care of him. Our sleep schedule consists of me lying down around 9 pm each night in either the nursery or my own bed, and Mark stays up in the living room until around midnight or so to take care of him while I get in a good stretch of sleep. Then, I sleep on the living room couch for the remainder of the night in between feedings, that is...when I actually sleep. I've been having trouble getting back to sleep lately. I wear earplugs every night too. On Valentine’s Day, I tried to move Derek from his swing to the couch to change his diaper (approx 2-3 feet away). And I fell again. Luckily, I placed him on the couch before I hit the living room floor. The next day, I felt a small setback in my leg yet again from the fall.
Around week 5, Lauren felt that I was ready for outpatient physical therapy and I would continue to improve with more advanced exercises. I am still in PT, and my routine consists of a 10 minute recumbent bike warm-up, quad squeezes, leg lifts (Jane Fonda style), step ups on a bench, horizontal squat machine, hamstring curl machine, and currently a 10-minute ice pack for my knee at cool down because Javi, my therapist, noticed fluid in the back of my knee area. So, here goes my next challenge of getting rid of the fluid behind my knee...
Derek’s Growth and Development:
Weeks 1 & 2 were all about adjustment and getting into a routine. During weeks 3 & 4, Derek developed severe crying episodes related to what we believed at the time to be gas. We switched him to Gentlease formula, but it didn’t help. His doctor recommended that we try Soy formula -- feeling that maybe he was having trouble digesting milk protein. Then, he developed severe constipation. The crying continued all day long from around 11 am until 8 or 9 pm with 10 minute breaks when he would fall asleep, and then awaken soon after and start all over again. At his one-month Well Baby doctor appointment (he weighed 9 lbs & 6 oz), his doctor said these symptoms were characteristic of colic and that he would just need to grow out of it. I couldn’t stand the crying from the constipation, and since the Soy formula didn’t seem to be helping, we switched him back to Gentlease around Week 5. We had another full week of trying remedies to help alleviate his crying: bicycling his legs, running the dishwasher or vacuum cleaner, a pacifier, his swing, warm washcloth around his belly, running water from the kitchen sink, gas drops, gripe water, a warm bath, the list goes on. After numerous difficult feedings with straight legs, frequent hiccups, lots of congestion, and wet burps where his formula would come up and he would swallow it again but hardly ever spit it out, I found a condition online called silent reflux. All of the symptoms sounded just like Derek. We switched formula for the 5th time to Similac Alimentum, which is supposed to help with colic and we have now re-named it to “liquid gold” because it also happens to be the most expensive formula available OTC. I called his doctor and explained that I felt he had some form of reflux, but he felt that reflux was usually more pronounced than what I described. He said better techniques in burping and feeding him upright would help and to call him after the weekend to see if the new formula was helping. After another fun-filled weekend of crying, I called back that Monday. After an office visit, he prescribed Zantac for Derek, and he now seems to be doing much better. Sometimes Mommy just knows best...
Derek outgrew his newborn diapers after one month, and he has also mostly outgrown his newborn clothing. His car seat insert is starting to seem a little tight as well, so we might be removing that piece soon. When he was first born, I didn’t think he looked like Alex very much. Then, after 2 weeks and also looking at Alex’s baby pictures, I thought he was a mirror image with a slightly different nose and brown eyes instead of Alex’s blue eyes. And the older he gets, the more he looks exactly like Alex.
I had forgotten how much I enjoy those newborn nuances: giggling and smiling in his sleep, his tiny sneezes (that he gets from Mimi!), and facial twitches. Also, from the moment he was born, he has had remarkable head control and tremendous finger grip strength. And while Alex had a stork bite birthmark on the back of his neck, Derek doesn’t seem to have a birthmark anywhere.
I have really been enjoying my time at home with Derek -- especially dancing to music on the Sirius coffee house satellite music channel on TV. I like to look outside at the snow while we are dancing… I also find myself singing some of the same songs to him that I sang to Alex: Give Mommy a Burp, It’s OK, and I’ve invented a new one: “Take It Slow” because this baby can eat! He gulps down his bottles. At 7 weeks old, he is up to 5 oz every 3-4 hours. Just recently, he has started eating a bottle around 9 or 9:30 pm, and then wakes up only once around 1 or 2 am for another one until 5 am when this bottle is only about 3 oz. So at nighttime, he is doing 2 different 4-5 hour stretches! Hoorah! Maybe I actually will sleep again…
Alex’s Growth and Development:
Alex’s interest in his new baby brother is a blessing. In the beginning, he called him “baby brother” more often than he called him Derek. He also called him baby Rylee too during the first 2 weeks at home. Rylee is his baby cousin. When Derek cries, he will say “You’re OK, Derek”. He likes to kiss his cheek often and also his toes. He really likes to be “our big helper” too. Alex enjoys pouring bath water over Derek’s shampooed head. He also likes to hand items to Mommy and Daddy when we need them. We tell Alex often that someday Derek will grow to be big and strong, he will play toys with him, and he will be his best friend.
I must have been in a pregnancy haze, or perhaps it was post-partum hormones, but a few weeks ago, I looked into Alex’s eyes and couldn’t believe how different he looked to me: like an almost 3-year old boy who has grown-up a lot over the past 6 months during my pregnancy. It made me sad. I feel that I have missed out on some of his growing up. He has memorized books that Daddy reads to him at bedtime, he can zip up his jammies, he can catch a ball, he likes new shoes (he used to HATE getting new shoes), and so much more.
Perhaps the biggest milestone is that after 7 long months, Alex is almost fully potty-trained. After getting nowhere at daycare, we decided over the 3-day President’s Day weekend that we would put him in underwear to let him feel what the sensation was like when he went to the bathroom. We had a few accidents, but this combined with rewards (jelly beans and cookies), he did a great job. We started by using his potty chair and letting him pick out the underwear he’d like to wear for the day. We still put him in a pull-up or diaper at naptime and bedtime. Some days, he has been dry when he woke up, and some days he has gone to the bathroom while sleeping. It’s been 3 weeks now, and we rarely have to ask him if he needs to go potty. He usually tells us himself. He has now graduated to a toddler potty seat that attaches to a regular toilet, and soon we will teach him how to stand up when he goes #1. I AM SO PROUD OF ALEX!!!
I have always heard of the old saying “terrible two’s”, and I understand where parents come from. Although, I cannot help but wonder if “three’s” will be even more difficult for us. Alex has frequent tantrums and rebellious behaviors. Shortly after he turned 2 years old, his daycare teacher told us that he has trouble with transition – or going from one activity to another. I’ve tried telling him in advance “a couple more minutes and then we have to _______”, so he knows it is coming. It works only occasionally. I think I need to read a book about how to work with him better, so his tantrums are less frequent. I know this is common at his age, but I think I need to learn how to better deal with it, and of course, have more patience with him.
Another noticeable behavior (which is quite humorous) is his negotiation skills, which come into play when he is eating or going to bed. When he gets sweets/goodies, we will say “OK, just one. We are going to be eating dinner soon”, he will say “Just two cookies”. At bedtime, Mark will read him poems from Where The Sidewalk Ends. Mark will say “OK, two more stories.” Alex will respond with “Just three more…” And then, as we try to say goodnight, he will ask for you to sing him a song, for some juice, and just recently “I need to go potty”. As many items as it takes to stay up for just a few more minutes and not go to sleep. He is so smart. With his counting skills, building skills, and negotiation skills, I’m convinced his future career choice will be an accountant, engineer, or Wall Street trader.
Future Activities:
This entry is so long! I’ve been working on this post off & on for many weeks now. And I finally had the time to finish it. We are looking forward to going to Indiana soon. We are also planning to visit the Cleveland Aquarium with Auntie D as Alex loves the fishies. I would also like to take Alex to the Lakeshore Learning store soon before I go back to work to see the crafts and toys. We are having Derek’s 2-month pictures taken next week, and he will have his 2-month Well Baby doctor appointment in a few weeks as well.
It’s a hectic, but exciting journey that we have started as a family of 4!
